Along Came Daddyhood

(Originally Published 12/16/08)

Dose cats have really done it now (Clic here for de storey)

Ok so leesten...

Alodda peeple play up dis cats vs dogs ting. Dey act like we spen our dayz trying to figger out how to destroy each odder when really us dogs are tryin to figger out how to 1) get mor peeple food and 2) how to get mor peeple attenshun. Seriously peeple, dis izn't like one of dose crazy Mishun Impossibull movies where no one knowz what de heck is goin on. Dogs love food and attenshun. Case clozed, you know?

But when I reed stuf like dis, it really makez me angree wit my cat friends. Catz wit contakt lenzez? Is dis serious? Why do dey need more purfect vision den dey already have? So dat dey can see more cleerly who dey are ignoring? So dat dey can see dat big box where dey do dere pooping in?

And if we are being honest wit oursalves, izn't corrective vishun de last ting dat Ernest de Cat needs becaws he seems to be preddy close to de end of his 9th life, am i right (sorry I coudnt rezizt)?

Maybe I'm mparshul, but woodn't you tink dat everyone woud benefit mor from dogs getting dese contakt lenses? Um I dunno mayb becaws we are actually soshul pets who care about more den catnip and ignoring everyting.

And I probablee dont have to tell you about what happened to my friend Chippy. Let's jus say dat it ended wit Chippy yellin, "I'M NOT DAT KIND OF DOG!" Dere's a video of it below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDD98zvBPro&hl=en&fs=1]

Maybe Chippy just ran into a bad cat, but I for one don't wanna have all dese cats running around wit dere purfect vision. Dere's no telling how many odder dogs dis kind of ting has happened to you know? So do we reely want to put contakt lenzes on predators like dis? Dats a world I dont wanna live in, you know?