Along Came Daddyhood

I'd like to start a running series called, "The BluePrint." What might that be, you ask?
Well, recently, I heard someone much smarter than me talk about their concern for the "blueprint" they are providing their children with. Invariably, we all give our children blueprints. Maybe it's an unfortunate affinity for Stars Wars. Maybe it's low self-esteem or a Napoleon Complex.

Regardless, throughout the duration of the time we have with our children, they are constantly consulting and referring the blueprint we provide them with in the form of our observable behavior. The question obviously becomes, how good are the plans we give them?

A genius point, no doubt and obviously something I'm not capable of theorizing, so I will borrow it (Thank you, Eddie James) for the purposes of this blog.

A couple of anticipatory questions first:
Q: Is this an actual, tangible thing available for purchase at most retailers?
A: No. It's a theory. A metaphor, I guess.

Q: Ok, cool. But should we write it down?
A: No. Don't fixate on the physicality of it. It's just a reasonably true concept like water vapor, Keyser Soze, or plotlines on The Hills.

Q: No right, totally. But still, say I did write it down, should it look like a blueprint for a house or a blueprint in the shape of you, like a human outline? Like maybe Da Vinci's Vitruvian Man?
A: Seriously?

Q: Is that a yes?
A: Ok, basically, I'm concerned about my creative faculties. I ONLY GET MY HAIR CUT EVERY TWO WEEKS and The Bachelor is ending soon. Therefore, I have to make up ongoing ideas so that I can lean on them when I'm feeling creatively lazy.


And before you get all judgmental, Saved by The Bell did it. Ever wonder why Slater only had like 4 wrestling matches in his whole high school career? It's because ringworm is not a compelling storyline and so that the writers could throw Mario Lopez in a singlet whenever the writing got flimsy. Like you didn't get excited?

(Quick side point, didn't A.C. Slater HAVE to be the greatest prep wrestler in the history of prep wrestling? Did you EVER see a match go more than 15 seconds? How was this never addressed within the show?

Moreover, how did he end up at Cal U with Fabio/Zack, Screech, and Bob Golic? We, the viewers, were led to believe that Slater was the second coming of BO JACKSON yet he didn't feel compelled to pursue athletics beyond Bayside? I WANT THE TRUTH.)

Present lapses in logic aside, the BluePrint is something I'll use from time to time to lament about my shortcomings and as a method of encouraging myself to be aware of how the Boy is perceiving me. Seeing as how I've used a majority of this space deconstructing a fictional TV character's high school athletic career, we'll postpone the first BluePrint topic until the next post.

I'll leave you with one of the greatest moments in TV history: ZACK v. SLATER FIGHT CLUB!